


The melancholy of the prince.

by EliKagsHina



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Jealous Sakusa Kiyoomi, M/M, Miya Osamu Needs a Hug, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prince Sakusa Kiyoomi, Sakusa Kiyoomi is Bad at Feelings, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28057842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EliKagsHina/pseuds/EliKagsHina
Summary: Prince Kiyoomi realizes in the worst way that Atsumu and Osamu have very different personalities.Or where Kiyoomi must marry Osamu Miya but ends up falling in love with his twin brother Atsumu.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu, Kita Shinsuke/Terushima Yuuji, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 33
Kudos: 162





	1. The beggining.

**Author's Note:**

> Before starting, my first language is not English so there may be spelling mistakes. Feel free to mention them so I can correct them! :)💛

Despite being twins, the Miya brothers did not have many things in common; Osamu was the more responsible and serious of the two, an exemplary figure that was very contradicting to Atsumu, who was more adventurous and carefree. 

The Miya family were high-ranking nobles—they had various businesses that allowed them to live comfortably, a good reputation in society, and if that wasn't enough, young Osamu could easily be qualified as the perfect young man and that is why he was the one chosen to be the future husband of Prince Kiyoomi.

There was no time for doubts or concerns when the young man's parents accepted the proposal that came from the palace, although the future spouses did not know each other personally.

Sakusa didn't like the idea of being paired with someone he didn't know, but when his parents told him about the great qualities of his future partner, he didn't argue. 

If Osamu was as good as his parents said, he had no complaints. Responsible, serious, kind, if there was someone with whom he could marry and live together for life, it would be him. 

It did not matter that there was no love involved; in fact, he had never expected something like this in his life. He was too busy being educated to be the next king to worry about finding love, although he had many opportunities. 

Like that time Duke Ushijima's son invited him to the opera but he had to finish some financial reports, so he declined his offer. Or that time when his cousin, Motomoya, tried to introduce him to the ballet dancer, Shouyou. Although he might not have found love on that occasion, since he remembers hearing about the scandalous affair he had with a merchant named Kageyama, they were now married.

Osamu was perfect for Kiyoomi; his only flaw was that he was permanently related to his brother, Atsumu, the other side of the coin. The prince did not like the contrast. The first time they met, it was Atsumu who stood out the most between the two; he kept chattering nonsense in the middle of dinner even when his parents and his brother repeatedly told him to stop. The kings did not like the older of the twins, either, but they let him pass because of the great value that Osamu had—who unlike his brother was very courteous and friendly in the evening.

Kiyoomi knew it from that night that Osamu was the better of the two. If there was someone with whom he could have a calm and undisturbed marriage, just as he had always planned, it would be Osamu.

With Osamu, he could have pleasant and calm conversations. The topics were always cultured and made him feel comfortable, but when the circumstances made him talk to Atsumu, things were different. It could not even be called a conversation because Kiyoomi had no opportunity to speak; the blond's words came out of his mouth without stopping, jumping from one topic to another making his ideas not match.

When he practiced archery in the gardens, Osamu watched him from a safe distance while clapping each shot but Atsumu fluttered around him and asked him to teach him while he gazed in fascination at the bow, making him look like a 5 year old boy. 

Kiyoomi could assure that if it were not for the guards and servants around him, Atsumu would not have hesitated to snatch the bow from him to make a throw.

Osamu, like the Prince himself, was not so open to crowds. At dances and parties, he stayed by his side, observing the environment around him as the older twin seemed to be delighted to spend the whole night on the dance floor in arms of unknown people as they moved to the beat of the piece the band was playing in the corner of the room. He blended in easily amid the joy and merriment of the night.

Kiyoomi liked the simplicity of his fiancé. He preferred a quiet afternoon reading in the library than outdoor appointments. Atsumu, on the other hand, preferred adventures. He did not mind getting dirty if a good memory rewarded him. 

One day, he took the Prince to a small forest near the castle because he had read that blue carnations grew there and that it would be a great gift for Osamu. Kiyoomi, although he doubted that the blonde would take the time to read anything, didn’t question it because despite not being in love with his fiancé, the carnations would be a nice touch and he didn't want Atsumu to think that he didn't care about his brother, so he followed him to the forest. 

They searched for more than four hours but there were no traces of these flowers, Sakusa was impatient and annoyed to waste his afternoon that way—he had even left his royal duties to go looking for the damn blue carnations but did not find them. 

Atsumu, for his part, was enchanted with his little adventure. He was amazed by any little detail and his smile did not leave his face. Sakusa thought that perhaps it had not been a complete waste of his afternoon; he spent time with his future brother-in-law, anyway. 

When they decided to return to the castle, almost at the edge of the forest, they found some beautiful red gardenias. Atsumu encouraged the prince to cut those flowers as “ _leaving with these is better than leaving with nothing_.” And so, Kiyoomi cut them. 

However, he had difficulty taking care of the flowers as he rode, so Atsumu offered to hold them for him on their way back. Perhaps it was because when they arrived at the palace, they were both very tired or because dinner time was approaching and they needed to change quickly since the flowers did not return to Sakusa’s hands. 

It was his fiancé's brother who got the red gardenias but Kiyoomi didn't ask for them, either.

Atsumu was more honest than his brother, dangerously bordering on recklessness. He did not hesitate when he expressed his displeasure at the colours of the room he was offered in the palace, or hesitate to reject the wine that he was offered at dinner because it was too bitter for his taste, openly commenting on his dislike for the Prince's fashion sense, stating that the curtains in the North wing of the palace were too worn and the lawn in the gardens was very unkempt. 

Atsumu had no filter while Osamu was more careful with his words; he was very cautious. He said what people wanted to hear from him, wouldn't dare to say anything unpleasant or irritating. The younger twin was better in that aspect than his brother, so maybe that is why it took Sakusa a while to realize that Osamu was in love with his personal guard, Suna. 

It was not obvious: they did not kiss or hold hands, much less sleep together. It was the way they looked at each other, the small smiles that were due to each other, how they cared for each other and the pain that flooded the guard's eyes every time Osamu went for a walk with the Prince. 

Sakusa was not bothered by the revelation that he could not find love. Him not finding love did not mean that the other people around him would, either. 

Osamu was a person devoted to his duty, he showed it when, despite the fact that he loved that guard, he continued to be faithful to the Prince. He did not betray him, not with his body, at least, because in his soul, he belonged completely with Suna. 

Their love was pure and unconditional, they were happy as long as they could enjoy each other's company, even if there were no kisses, caresses or sex. If Kiyoomi had the certainty that by breaking their engagement, the young lovers could be together, he would do it but he knew that that was not possible. Suna was a guard and Osamu the favoured son of a noble family, their love was doomed to not be from the start. He silently pitied his fiancé and decided to spend less time with him so as not to make him feel more miserable.

But spending less time with his fiancé led him to spend more time with his brother-in-law, they ended up in small archery competitions that Kiyoomi always won, rode in the wide palace gardens and Atsumu made him escape from the castle to visit the town secretly to show him the new shop that had opened. They also painted ugly paintings of the lake because neither of them had a real talent for art, went hunting together and even constantly went to the forest near the castle with the excuse of looking for the blue flowers but when they got there, it was the last thing they would think about.

Atsumu enjoyed provoking Sakusa to his limits without worrying about his status as the Prince, whereas Osamu respected and tried not to bother him. Atsumu was the day and Osamu was the night. Osamu was reserved and cautious; his twin, instead, was intrepid and impulsive. The twins truly were a strange contrast.

Osamu was not like Atsumu, he did not have that particular sparkle in his eyes or that radiant smile, his clothes were always impeccable, hair was perfectly combed, never too impressed and always had something clever to say. Osamu did not force him to dance at dances, did not take him to the gardens to see the chrysalis he had discovered near the roses, ortell silly jokes when they ran out of conversation. Osamu was studious and cultured; Osamu fit the bill perfectly in the definition of ‘perfect’.

Atsumu was nothing like his brother: he was loud, carefree, rambunctious and cheerful… And that was why Kiyoomi fell in love with him. The Prince, Sakusa Kiyoomi, who had planned his entire life no longer wanted a quiet marriage without surprises; he wanted and desired a life where the person he saw every morning when he woke up was Miya Atsumu.


	2. The news.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A normal day in the life of Prince Kiyoomi as he dealt with long meetings, greedy people, boring tutorials, forced dates, and his feelings for Atsumu.
> 
> And then chaos comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year! I hope you enjoyed and celebrated a lot. A long chapter to start the year well :)
> 
> I am really interested in looking for someone who wants to be my beta reader, if there is someone interested tell me in the comments!🌼
> 
> Inspiration for the clothes of the characters:  
> Sakusa: https://pin.it/36kLlgu https://pin.it/vVMIysc  
> Iizuna: https://pin.it/5CcFNiv  
> Atsumu: https://pin.it/47NSs5V  
> Osamu: https://pin.it/1kHofzI

The sun rose in the great Itachiyama kingdom, kicking off Prince Sakusa's laborious day. His job was not to look handsome and smile at the crowds, as most thought. 

The prince spent his days in meetings with the royal council to make important decisions—such as the construction of new schools or hospitals—that could last up to 5 hours due to the different ways of thinking the council members had. 

He also had meetings with the financial advisor of the kingdom to see if taxes were being collected correctly or to come up with a plan that would help reduce the amount of taxes the town had to pay each month. Sometimes, he had small assemblies with some citizens to listen to their needs and find a way to solve their problems.

No matter that he had several dozen servants at his disposal, Kiyoomi liked to prepare himself for his day—that included dressing, combing his hair, and perfume. He did not like to be touched by several people at the same time, nor was he attracted to the idea of strangers entering his room.

So, being able to enter the Prince's bedroom was a great privilege. Only 3 servants who were personally chosen by Sakusa after a strict survey could clean his room on a schedule of 4 times a week. The kings also had free passes to the Prince's room as well as his cousin, Motomoya, and his personal secretary: Lizuna. 

And then there was Atsumu, who despite the multiple times that Sakusa told him that he could not enter his room because it was beyond the limits allowed for him, continued to do so. Sometimes, it would be at the end of the afternoon when he found out that Kiyoomi had free time to complain about the strict rules of the palace or to tell him a gossip he heard from the servants. There were also some nights where he would sneak into the room to insist that Sakusa accompany him to a festival in the capital of the kingdom.

It was a peculiar situation; Atsumu had entered the crown Prince's chambers countless times whereas his brother, Osamu, Kiyoomi's rightful fiancé, had not even looked into the area of the palace where the royal family's bedrooms were because that area was restricted…

There was a series of three knocks on the door, indicating that his secretary, Lizuna had arrived to guide him through his activities for the day.

“You can come in,” he raised his voice.

The door opened to reveal a male with light brown hair. He bowed to Sakusa in respect. “Good morning, Your Majesty.” 

Kiyoomi finished wearing his tie and observed in the reflection of the large mirror that was in the middle of his room. The secretary was wearing a dark blue frock coat, long pants and a gray shirt, accompanied by a black vest. In his hands, he carried several papers which only meant a fairly busy schedule.

“Good morning, Tsukasa,” he greeted in a friendly manner as he took one last look at his appearance: a light blue double-breasted coat—Atsumu said that the light blue highlighted his eyes—, white tie, long off-white pants and black leather ankle boots. Overall, it looked pretty good.

“I hope you had a pleasant rest, Your Highness.”

“My night was pretty good, Tsukasa. What about yours? Could you rest? Did the herbs prescribed by your doctor for your insomnia work?”

“Yes, Your Majesty. I hadn't slept that well in over three months.” He nodded quickly.

“I'm glad to hear that.” He turned around and continued, “then tell me… what activities do we have for today?”

Iizuna hastened to read the papers he brought with him. “Well, after breakfast you have two hours of classes with your History tutor, then you must meet with the King and the Royal Parliament to discuss the loss of crops in the North-West area of the kingdom, due to the dry season. And when the meeting is over, you have about an hour for lunch before you must go to the first training of the newly recruited guards to give a few words of welcome… and, as a last point, the Queen specifically asked that you and the young Miya to meet for tea before dinner. She specially set aside the kiosk overlooking the lagoon for you.”

“Did she specify which of the two young men surnamed ‘Miya’ will meet me?” It was a silly question, but Kiyoomi asked anyway.

“Due to her insistence, I must assume that she was referring to your fiancé, Your Majesty,” he paused. “She also wants the both of you to spend time together before announcing your commitment to the kingdom.”

The prince sighed. “You're right. If that is all, let's get out of here. There's breakfast waiting for me.”

And so, they headed to the dining room. In the past, it was common for the Prince to eat his breakfasts and lunches only because his parents began to get used to eating in their room and he only saw them at dinner time to talk about their day and pretend they had a normal family life. 

That, of course, was in the past because for the past few months, a noisy companion snuck into his dining room to tell him about the strange dreams he had that night and Sakusa couldn't be happier.

“Omi-Omi!” The familiar nickname left Atsumu's lips when he saw him enter the dining room and the prince had to suppress a smile when his eyes fell on the young man. It was quite obvious that he did not care about his appearance as the loose white shirt, green vest and khaki pants he was wearing was clear evidence. “Good morning!”

Sakusa walked to the table and sat in front of Atsumu. “Good morning.” He stared intensely at the boy in front of him, trying to look serious and ignore the strong beating of his heart. “I have told you several times not to call me in that way. I'm the Prince and you must treat me with more respect, Miya.”

“But I don't want to call you ‘ _ Your Highness _ ’ or  _ ‘Your Majesty _ ’.” He doesn’t hide the grimace on his face. “We are friends! Friends treat each other in a friendly way and that means I can call you whatever I want.”

“I don't remember saying we were friends,” he replied.

“OMI!” yelled a dramatic, pained Atsumu. “How can you be so lousy? Soon we will be family, you will marry my brother…" He whispered, “We will have no choice but to be friends.”

Sakusa felt the air in the dining room grow thicker, the oatmeal in his mouth tasted bitter and his eyes began to burn. His undeniable truth struck his heart harder when it was uttered by Atsumu:  Sakusa would not marry him.

“And how is any of that relevant? My future marriage does not force us to be friends,” the prince managed to reply, faux ignorance slipping into his tone as he tried not to get affected by Atsumu's words.

“Oh, Omi-Omi, you really are very cruel…” Kiyoomi looked up from his breakfast at the sad and pitiful tone in the older twin's voice. Atsumu was not looking at him, instead he had his gaze fixed on the salt shaker on the table and a nostalgic smile adorned his face. Sakusa felt guilty and his brain began to think of the words that would bring back Atsumu's radiant smile, but before it he could say anything, the other man in the room continued talking, “Maybe we are not required to be friends, but I really want to get along with you Omi.”

“Whatever you say, Miya. Let me eat in peace.” was the only answer that came out of his mouth.

“So, Omi-kun, how about we go to town this afternoon? Or we can go to the river on the edge of the capital. What do you think?”

“I can't. I have a lot pending on my agenda today. Maybe another day.” 

Atsumu nodded, he knew the prince had a lot to do, so he didn't insist. “Well then, I'll go to your room tonight. I haven't played cards in a long time and I'm sure you'll be a great rival.” He looked at him defiantly.

“Do you just invite yourself to my room? You are stupidly daring.”

“Come on, Omi, you'll have fun! We always have a good time—I'm excellent company,” he boasted.

“Keep dreaming, Miya.”

The rest of the breakfast went on like this: Atsumu's voice rose unconsciously in the dining room every time he reached an exciting part of his dream, soft hands rising in the air as he recounted how a great giant was about to crush him, but with the help of a magic harp, managed to turn it into a white cat. Miya had a lot of imagination. 

Sakusa knew that the servants and guards in the room were looking at them with a slight smile on their face, it was impossible not to find the scene funny. 

45 minutes later, Lizuna arrived to warn him that he should go to his class soon with his tutor. Before leaving the room, the Prince noted that Atsumu's breakfast was still almost completely intact—he had concentrated so much on spewing nonsense that he had forgotten to eat properly. 

It was not the first time that happened. Since Sakusa realised the situation, he asked one of his most loyal servants, Yachi, to bring Atsumu a snack of his favorite foods in the middle of the afternoon. He didn’t want the twin to neglect his diet, even if he did it unconsciously.

“Good morning, Your Highness,” his tutor, Daichi, greeted him with a bow.

“Sawamura-san, good morning,” he said politely.

“I'll be back in two hours, Your Majesty.” Lizuna bid goodbye before closing the door of the room.

The room for the Prince's studies was quite large: the ceiling was high and natural light came in through the two large windows framed with light blue curtains. The windows displayed the view of the front gardens of the palace and there were numerous shelves full of books of different sizes, titles, languages and genres located against the long walls of the room. 

There was a large mahogany desk with various papers and books stacked on it and two sofas that were situated in front of the windows. In the middle of them was a small glass table with an asymmetrical vase containing white tulips. The floor was completely gleaming white marble and a beautiful glass chandelier hung in the center of the room. On one of the corner walls were several maps pertaining to the kingdom and its most important regions and there was also a blackboard with various quick annotations.

“Go ahead, Your Majesty,” Daichi invited him to sit on one of the sofas while he went to find some books from the shelves. Sakusa allowed himself to look around for something new, although in reality he knew the room like the back of his hand. Since he was 10 years old, he had begun to receive tutoring to be a cultured king on topics such as Geography, History, Literature and music. 

“We’ll focus on History today.” Sawamura approached, carrying five books in his hands. “The subject of now will be the war that took place between our kingdom and the Aoba Johsai nation for the Dateko Island’s domain. Have you heard anything about this war?”

“I know it was a century ago and that it lasted almost two years. It was a more maritime than land confrontation and historians classify it as an absurd, unjustified war since, in the end, Dateko Island became an independent nation because the inhabitants of the island did not want to be subjected to either of the two kingdoms.”

“Exactly. That dispute was really embarrassing for both the Aoba Johsai kingdom and the Itachiyama kingdom because after all that trouble, no one won. It was a great waste of material and human resources and it was estimated that at least 500 people lost their lives in the war.” Daichi handed him a book with a white cover, the title was written in green letters:  _ ‘Dateko Island and its history’ _ . “In this book, find the facts from the point of view of the current Dateko kingdom. However, we must focus on the events of our region without neglecting the circumstances of the other kingdoms.” He gave him another book, a mint green cover with the title written in white letters:  _ ‘Aoba Johsai and the wars’ _ . “This book is written by an inhabitant of that kingdom. They gathered important facts about the wars their nation has suffered, and above all, it focuses on the war they had with us and its consequences.”

Sakusa looked closely at the books in his hands and noted that they weren't that thick.

“I recommend you read those books so that you have an overview of the situation but if you don't want to, you needn’t do it.” 

The prince nodded and put both books aside.

“Now, let's start studying the background. At that time, our region was going through a terrible fishing situation and the towns near the sea were the most affected because the products that came from the sea were their main source of food and work…” Daichi continued speaking without hesitation or stuttering for the rest of their meeting and proved once again how qualified he was for his job. Sakusa asked eventual occasional questions and noted in a notebook when his tutor offered the most important points of the conversation.

They had a slight break after the first hour to drink tea; this was brought by a servant with ashen hair, thin complexion, brown eyes and a cute beauty mark on his left cheek. If the gossip Atsumu told him were to be true, that servant was Daichi's lover. However, the Prince was prudent and would not ask him about it… even if he was a  _ little _ curious.

After finishing his class with Daichi, Lizuna arrived to direct him to his next task: a  _ fun _ meeting with the royal parliament and his father, the King. Of course, those meetings were not actually enjoyable at all, especially when the members of parliament were too selfish to care about their people. It was a blessing that they were not the rulers because it would be certain that they would lead the kingdom to ruins by their blinded desire to power and wealth.

“I'm just saying that they can wait another two more months. Their situation is not so worrisome as there are only a few withered plants,” a robust old man spoke from the other side of the table. “It does not make sense to allocate more resources to that region.”

“Let me differ with you, Duke Kirito, but you must be completely ignorant if you think that the inhabitants of Shiratorizawa prefecture will be able to survive two months after they have lost all their crops due to the drought,” a tall and thin person spoke, causing several whispers to arise at the table.

“The townspeople are greedy there. I'm sure they exaggerate their problems,” he raised his voice and then addressed the king: “Don't be fooled by that mob, Your Majesty, they would do anything for money.”

The meeting room was located on the first floor of the palace near the main gate. The room was quite spacious, in it was a rectangular table for the 20 members of parliament and around this were several chairs that were located for the councilors or companions of the parliament. 

The walls were white and hung with long mirrors bordered with white gold frames to give the illusion that the room was larger than it was. Right on the entrance floor was a large black rug that contrasted with the white marble floor and three small chandeliers hung from the ceiling above. At the back of the room were six windows.

King Hiro was sitting at one end of the table and on his right side was his son and crown Prince to the throne: Sakusa Kiyoomi. On his left was a member of parliament closest to the king: Marquis Taiki. On the other end of the table was the oldest member, Duke Kirito, an archaic and petulant man who had married his only daughter to an older man just to increase his wealth. 

More nobles, including dukes, marquises, counts and barons, were seated along the table. An hour had passed since the meeting had begun, but they were not reaching a consensus and both the King and the Prince were getting fed up with the situation.

“Duke Kirito, I must ask you to refrain from referring to the inhabitants of our kingdom as _ greedy  _ and _ liars _ ,” the King's strong voice announced, shutting everyone up. Kiyoomi couldn't help but smile when he saw the expression of the miser Duke’s face.

“Your Excellency, I beg your pardon for daring… I just wanted to warn you that there are people who would do anything for money,” replied the Duke.

“I do not doubt it,” the King answered defiantly. “Gentlemen, since we have not reached an agreement, I am forced to take this situation into my own hands. Parliament is not effective enough.”

Sakusa saw his father look at each member with a stern look; it was obvious how angry he was. The king hated to meet in vain, he liked to see quick and satisfactory results, especially when it was a circumstance that directly affected their people. 

Kiyoomi admired his father for that and hoped to be like him when he was the one who ruled. The King always put their kingdom above all and did not allow himself to be persuaded by selfish people who encouraged him to neglect the nation in order to save some money.

“Marques Kita.” The Monarch turned to the youngest member of the council. “I understand that your family has quite a lot of experience in agriculture. Is it often not like this?”

“You are correct, Your Majesty,” the white-haired youth with black tips replied.

“Then, I want you to lead the project to bring fruits and vegetables to the Shiratorizawa Prefecture and its surrounding prefectures. Each prefecture in the Kingdom must contribute at least 30 pounds. That would be the least necessary for them to survive for two months.” 

The people in the room began whispering, doubting Marques Kita's ability.

“You can count on me, Your Highness.”" He nodded. “I won't let you down.”

The king smiled. “I know you won't.” He then turned to another person. “Duke Ushijima, since you are in charge of the royal guards, you will help Marquis Kita with the transportation of food, including his safety and security.”

Within the remainder of the meeting, the King assigned different responsibilities to various people in order to attend to the problem of the drought in the Shiratorizawa prefecture. Although not everyone was happy with the duty entrusted to them, no one dared to complain, fearing that their words might irritate the King. 

After several formal goodbyes and words of praise that were sent to the King, in hopes of secretly seeking some kind of favor, only the two Monarchs were left in the room.

“Another successful day,” the older man joked to his son.

“I don't know how you manage to deal with those people,” Sakusa complained as he fiddled with one of his curls.

“You do not know? Well you should, because in a few years, you will be the one who is sitting in this chair.” He began to laugh and the prince just snorted. “Oh, I almost forgot¸ your mother wants us to meet after dinner.” Kiyoomi hesitated, because even though he hadn't said particularly or officially said  _ “yes” _ to Atsumu, he would still come to his room at night to play cards and he definitely didn't want to miss some time alone with the blond.

“Oh, come on, don't make that face!” The King hit his son's back in an attempt to relax him. “It'll only be a few minutes. We both know you're tired, we just want to give you some news.”

“Then why don't you just tell me right now?” Sakusa questioned.

His father chuckled. “I would love to, but it is your mother who is adamant to tell you personally. Plus, she is the one who has the full details of the news.”

“Well, I hope this whole thing is quick, I have other things to do,” he grumbled, causing the King to laugh.

After talking with his father, Sakusa had a quiet lunch on one of the balconies on the third floor of the palace. Since salmon and steamed vegetables were his only companions, he allowed himself to forget about his obligations for sixty minutes while sipping fresh and delicious lemonade. 

Despite being noon, the weather was quite pleasant: a clear sign that autumn was quite close. The leaves in the grove around the castle would soon turn orange and yellow and the cold temperature would only get colder at night. He should start wearing warmer clothes. 

Prince Sakusa wondered if Atsumu is the kind of person who blushes when in icy places. How would he look under layers of clothing with rosy cheeks? Would he hug Kiyoomi for warmth? Would he like to skate in the small lagoon on the palace grounds? Would he force the prince to play in the snow with him?

“I must be crazy…” he said to himself. “Why do you keep thinking about him even when he's not here?”

The monarch smiled tenderly; Atsumu seized his heart without any effort. Were Kiyoomi's barriers really so weak? Or was Atsumu just that captivating? None of that mattered anymore. The heir to the crown was in love to the core with Atsumu Miya.

The Prince heard footsteps behind him and then a knocking on the glass door that opened to the balcony. “Your Majesty, we must go to the training grounds. The guards will not be long in coming,” Lizuna announced himself.

“Well, let's get going then,” he replied calmly as he got up from his seat to follow his secretary.

Sakusa had not prepared any kind of speech for the new recruits of the royal guards in advance, so he had no choice but to improvise. It would not be the first time he had done it—he had many years of experience prior in addressing crowds. 

His words focused on the braveness and courage of each and everyone, thanking their desire to be part of the royal guards and to assure them that each member was important. The new men and women were very excited to meet the prince and did their best in each exercise to prove their worth. 

Kiyoomi didn't know how to feel about that. Those people wouldn't last a second when laying down their lives for the royal family as they would always shed their blood as long as the kingdom's leaders were safe.

His eyes drifted over their new recruits as he took in what he could observe. “That boy is quite tall,” the Prince pointed out.

“You mean the blond with glasses, Your Majesty?” Lizuna asked, drawing his attention away from the book in his hands.

“Yes, the one next to the man with the wild-looking beard and long hair. Do you know who he is?”

Lizuna hummed as he racked his mind for what he read up about them earlier. “He is Kei Tsukishima, the younger of two brothers and comes from a family of potters but despite that, he is one of the best recruits. As I understand it, he is very intelligent and in confrontations, he uses various strategies to defeat his opponents.”

“That's really interesting,” the raven muttered under his breath. The Prince liked to be aware of the best members. Even though he had no plans to start a war with any kingdom, no one ever knows when they may be needed.

The training lasted five hours but Lizuna and Kiyoomi left early at four in the afternoon because, even if he didn't want to, the Prince still had one more activity he had to attend. The soldiers said their greetings to them with several bows as a sign of their devotion. The Monarch gave them final words of encouragement before leaving.

Since his official activities had ended, the Prince was allowed to go to his room to change his clothes. His light blue coat was replaced by a blue vest and he got rid of the tie. Despite being a more casual outfit, his attire was still appropriate for his date—although he didn't really care if Osamu found him attractive or elegant, he just wanted to impress Atsumu. 

He laid back on his bed to rest his feet, he was tired. He did not want to go to that date that had been planned by his mother. However, she is determined that the future spouses spend time together to get to know each other better. 

She wanted her son and Osamu to fall in love before making their commitment known to the kingdom but all that is in vain because: a) Osamu was madly in love with Suna Rintaro, his personal guard, and he would have to die and be reborn again to ever think about falling in love with Kiyoomi; b) Kiyoomi was seduced by Osamu's rambunctious and noisy twin, the Prince long ago decided that the only person who deserved his love was Atsumu, even though no one besides him knew about it. 

Any attempt by the Queen to bring the boys together would be fruitless as their hearts belonged to other people.

However, even if they did not fall in love or love each other, the marriage was imminent, Osamu was perfect for the position of “Queen” and his mother would never accept Atsumu as a son-in-law if she had Osamu as the first option. Plus, the younger of the Miyas would not dare to decline such an offer because it would ruin one's family's reputation. 

What asshole turns down the chance to be the husband of the next King? Nobody. And that's why Sakusa was heading to his fiancé’s room to take him on a lovely date in the gardens. It was all nothing but a mere appearance, the dates were only to alleviate the guilt the Queen should feel for forcing her son to marry an unknown to take care of the image of the royal family.

Sakusa reached the door and knocked softly on it. A few seconds later, the door opened.

“Good afternoon, Your Majesty.” Osamu opened the door wider and then bowed. He was wearing clothes similar to those of the Prince, except, his vest was red and he wore a hat on his head.

“Good afternoon, Miya-san.” The Prince noticed that Suna was at the back of Osamu's room and he mentally admired and praised the guard for seeming so serene while he watched as another man took the person he loved away from him. “I hope you are aware of the date my mother organized for us.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. Some servants came to alert me before lunch.”

“If you're ready, we can go.” 

The young brunet nodded and left the room slowly while letting out a sigh. The couple held arms as they walked through the corridors and down the stairs to the ground floor while chatting, looking for the fastest path to the garden.

The kiosk they were heading to was surrounded by lush vegetation and had a perfect view of the palace's artificial lagoon. When they arrived, a great variety of desserts and different types of tea were awaiting them. 

There was a table in the center of the place with comfortable wooden chairs because the kiosk was far from the palace, some guards had moved to the gardens to watch over the Prince and his fiancé.

Sakusa acted like the gentleman he was, helping Osamu to sit on the chair, serving him whatever tea he wanted and telling Osamu that if he didn't fancy the desserts on the table, he could order different ones. If Kiyoomi was ignorant of the different hair colour and the way the other spoke, he could almost imagine himself on a date with Atsumu.  _ Almost. _

_ “ _ I hope you had a nice day, Your Highness,” said the younger Miya before taking a sip of his tea.

“Miya-san, I have told you that it is not necessary for you to call me that way. You can call me  _ ‘Sakusa’ _ or  _ ‘Kiyoomi’ _ , we are committed and you should not treat me in such a formal way.” The words came out sour from his mouth and Osamu tensed at the last sentence.

“Sorry, Sakusa-san, it's the custom.”

“Don't worry, it's not the first time that has happened.” He paused. “But regarding what you asked before: yes, I had a nice day… well, as nice as my schedule allows.”

“The duties of a prince must be tiring.”

“A little but I have to get used to it. After all, it's not half the work my father has. If I want to be King, busy days can't beat me.”

He saw that Osamu was pondering. “I hope… I really hope to be helpful in our marriage. It would be an honor to be of use to the King.” His face was painted with a barely perceptible blush. Sakusa thought of Atsumu.

“Miya-san, you are already very useful, you have learned quite quickly about different topics and affairs of the state. You will be a great companion.”

“It is an honor to be recognized in this way by you.” He smiled.

It was a beautiful sight: two young people sitting, chatting and eating desserts at a kiosk surrounded by flowers with a lovely view. The sunset reflected in the water of the lagoon and the sky was tinted in different shades of orange and pink. The songs of various birds could be heard while a soft breeze accompanied the environment. 

Any painter would like to preserve the scene, two fiancés on a splendid date. The painter would play with the colours and expressions on both the males faces and seek the perfect shade of red for the roses and a greenish blue that would equal the lagoon. He would sign the work and would name it: “Two young people deeply in love”. (With someone else, Sakusa would add)

When the sun had disappeared into the horizon, both the young individuals decided that it was time to end the date appointment. They walked towards the entrance of the castle in silence, all the topics of conversation had been exhausting within the two hours that they were together and Sakusa offered to accompany his fiancé to his room because he was a gentleman.  _ What a mistake. _

_ “ _ Omi-Omi!” Came the familiar voice of the Miya twin who caught Kiyoomi’s heart. The prince tensed at the regular nickname. “Where have you been? I found out after going to see the royal guard that you no longer had official duties. I can't believe you turned down my invitation to do something this afternoon if you had nothing to do!” When Osamu and Kiyoomi turned the corner, they met with a lively Atsumu— well, lively until he noticed the clasped hands of the couple.

“Atsumu, you shouldn't be so loud; your screams will annoy other people,” Osamu was the first to speak.

“Oh…” The older brother had an unreadable expression that Sakusa couldn’t read. “You were together?”

“Yes, we were in the gardens,” the brunet answered irritably.

The blond forced a smile on his face. “Ah! You guys were on a date.” He laughed awkwardly. “Omi, if you were going to have some alone time with my brother, you could have just told me.”

“No— I— Ah…” Sakusa wanted to deny everything, he wanted to say:  _ “No, it was not a date, I would only want to have dates with you.”  _ But, of course, he could not because in the truth, he did indeed have a date with Atsumu's brother. “Dates are common in our situation.”

“Yes, yes, you are very right  _ Kiyoomi.” _ His given name, pronounced properly by Atsumu, seemed like an insult, even though it was himself who had told the other to stop using the cute nickname. “You are engaged, you  _ are _ getting married and all that, but you should’ve told me you were going to be busy. Do you know how disgusting it would have been to go looking for you, only to find you kissing my brother around the corner?”

“ATSUMU!” Osamu scolded with a reddened face, only he knew if it was out of anger or shame. “Watch your language, don't be so rude.”

“Don't worry, ‘Samu. It’s normal, mom taught us when we were 6 years old, remember? Just don't let the hormones control you.” He passed by the couple, smiling. “Keep up the good work, I won't bother you anymore. Be gentle with my brother, Kiyoomi!” He raised his voice as he walked down the hall.

“Oh, Highness, please forgive my disrespectful brother, he doesn't have any kind of filter when he speaks,” Osamu apologized with a frown, looking in the direction where his twin had gone.

“Don't worry about it, I know your brother perfectly well.” He smiled at his fiancé. “His way of being doesn't surprise me at all.”

Osamu lets out a sigh. “It's good to know that.”

“Is it alright if I leave you here? I'm tired and wish to rest a bit in my room before dinner.” It was very impolite of him to leave the man in this way, but he no longer had the mental energy to deal with the arranged marriage.

“Of course, Sakusa-san,” he replied happily, elated to return to his room where Suna was waiting for him. “See you at dinner.” Osamu bowed in reverence.

“See you at dinner, Osamu.” He returned the bow and headed into his room. He probably cried and hit his biggest pillow while venting his anger. And maybe he asked the heavens that somehow Atsumu was for him. But none of that worked when during dinner his mother said:

“Certainly, Atsumu is a big problem and I don't think there is any person who wants to deal with his disgusting personality.” She drank from her wine glass. “But, luckily, Marquis Kita doesn't care about any of that as long as he can serve his Kings!”Sakusa's world stopped. “Soon, Atsumu Miya will officially be betrothed to him,” the queen announced joyfully as the Prince felt his world fall apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter was going to be longer but I prefer the suspense at the end muhahaha😈 
> 
> I would love to know what you think of this chapter! ❤ Comments are always welcome:) 
> 
> The next update will be in a week or two. See you-.-  
> Stay safe, wear your mask and drink water!


	3. The discussion.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Atsumu react to his arranged marriage?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go ahead and hate the queen. I won't blame you.
> 
> I know, this update took too long sorry for that but I prefer long and quality chapters to short and poorly written. Hopes that you doesn't matter.

_Once upon a time there was a prince in love who for the sake of the kingdom should marry someone elegant and sophisticated; once upon a time there was a nobleman with a rebellious heart who had to see the man who loved marry his brother. Or maybe history shouldn't be like this...?_

The labors of the palace servants increased threefold when the second week of October arrived, every window in the castle was scrubbed at least twice, all the carpets were washed with rose water, the marble floor was carefully polished until to shine, the sheets were changed in the 45 guest rooms, the trees and shrubs in the gardens were pruned and the interior of the castle was full in different scents of flowers. On the castle farms, the best quality pigs, chickens and cattle were being fattened, the orchards were overflowing with vegetables, and the cooks in the palace were experimenting with different dishes for the big day: the queen's 55th birthday.

It would be a great party, all organized by the king as his birthday present to his beloved wife. The invitations for the event were sent to all the aristocratic families of the kingdom and of course all had confirmed their attendance, they all wanted to enjoy a great celebration in the company of the royal family. Even the commoners were excited for the queen's birthday due to the great affection they had for her, she was known for her kind and fair nature with her subjects, also on her birthday it was accompanied with a national holiday and who did not want a day of rest?

The great festive atmosphere could be felt by every inhabitant of the kingdom... except for the queen's son. His mood had never been worse, although he concealed it splendidly; a week had passed since his mother announced the dire news: They wanted to force Atsumu to marry someone he did not know.

After he said goodbye to his fiancé in the middle of the hall he went straight to her room, he had to get ready for dinner but the prince couldn't stop thinking about Atsumu's unreadable expression. He cursed his luck and the crown on his head, tired of the great charade and his obligations as a prince, he fell on his bed and cried, he cried because he did not want to marry Osamu, he did not want to have more uncomfortable dates with Osamu planned by his mother , he cried on his pillow because he did not want to pretend to love Osamu in front of the aristocrats or in front of anyone, he did not want to decline any invitation from Atsumu for his responsibilities, he wanted to spend his afternoons watching his silly laugh, he wanted to hold Atsumu's hand while they walked through the palace, the prince wanted to run away every night with him and dance under the moonlight while Miya hummed some made-up tune, Sakusa wanted to marry Atsumu... but he couldn't, and so he desperately cried and sobbed in his room.

Why couldn't his mother see that Miya Atsumu was the one for Kiyoomi? Although the prince knew that their feelings were not reciprocal, he would do everything to conquer Atsumu if only he had the opportunity, he would give him everything _he_ asked for and more, he would shower him with incredible gifts and love until _he_ got tired, he would cover his clothes in gold, silver and bronze, he would ask royal jewelers for brilliant rings with jades and diamonds to match his pretty brown eyes, he would take over all the vineyards that produced the wine that _he_ loved to drink at night, he would buy the best silk suits for Atsumu to wear and be the envy of the kingdom, he would build him a palace if it meant he would have Atsumu by his side. He would give anything he asked for on a silver platter… If only he had the chance.

Dinner that day was only a preview of the bad news that was coming; Miya Atsumu whose voice was the most prominent at dinner did not show up in the dining room that night. He told his servants that he was ill - a headache and occasional dizziness - the queen could not be more delighted, she would have a pleasant evening without the presence of her son-in-law's noisy brother. So the rest of the banquet was just the kings and future spouses. Another beautiful scene that could easily be painted and saved for posterity.

"How was your afternoon?" Asked Akari, the vehement queen with brown hair, porcelain skin and several freckles that adorned her cheeks. "I heard from my assistants that it was a very pleasant climate for your date."

"It was an excellent afternoon, Your Majesty, the desserts that were prepared for us were delicious and the company of the prince is always pleasant."

"I’m glad to hear that! As future husbands, you should spend as much time together as possible but I know that it is difficult with all the responsibilities that Kiyo has" the queen looked lovingly at her son, so false" but if I can find a space in his busy schedule I will make sure you can pass some time alone."

"Thank you very much, Your Highness, I´m honored to enjoy the prince's company no matter if it is for a few minutes or several hours" Osamu replied politely.

"You should not worry about that, dear son-in-law, for now it will be a few minutes but they will have a lifetime to be together. I say it from experience, I went through this situation when I started my relationship with Hiro "she looked at her husband, the king smiled at she" The first months were very sad for me because we barely had time to talk for a few minutes at the beginning of our engagement but after the wedding we were together for most of the day, almost 30 years later we are still the same.

"That's a relief, I hope I can have the same luck as you, Your Majesties," he spoke serenely and then looked at the prince who was completely oblivious to the conversation that was taking place in the room. Kiyoomi must credit Osamu for talking so calmly about their future when neither of them wanted their wedding day to come.

When the pendulum clock in one corner of the elegant dining room struck seven thirty at night Osamu retired to his room, leaving the three monarchs alone. The kings were talking about topics completely irrelevant to Kiyoomi and as much as he wanted to follow Osamu's example and go to his room, he knew that he had a pending issue with his parents.

"So ... what news did you want to give me? Dad told me this morning that you wanted to tell me something important about Osamu" interrupted the conversation of the kings.

"True! I almost forgot but it is not about Osamu although he is implicated in the news. ”The queen replied with a bored tone.

“What do you mean?"

"It's about Atsumu" the prince tensed when he heard that name, since when his mother interested in something involving the oldest of the Miya?

"What's wrong with him?" Kiyoomi replied trying to sound the least bit affected.

"Osamu is a great man, he is almost perfect and will be seen with good eyes by other nobles like your future husband, however my problem is his brother" she exhaled exhausted. "Don't you think tonight was perfect? Your father, your future husband, you and me; it felt like a dream. I don't remember when was the last time we had such an enjoyable dinner since the Miya twins moved into the palace. If only Osamu was an only child, everything would be perfect" the queen got up from her seat and began to walk around the large rectangular dining room that had enough seats for twelve people "That's when I had an idea, why not send Atsumu away?

"What?" Kiyoomi couldn't help his voice sounding annoyed.

"Yes! The royal protocols tell us that being the brother of your fiancé and being single, he must stay in the palace to keep Osamu company even when the engagement has not been announced, so no matter how much I wants to send him back to his house parents I can't. But what if Atsumu stops being single? If Atsumu were to get married he wouldn't have to deal with his annoying presence around us anymore."

The prince felt dizzy, everything around him was moving, he was finding it difficult to breathe and his mother's words were like lashes to his heart, he knew where this whole matter was heading, he knew the way his mother had to solve the things that annoyed her and he knew perfectly well that the queen had never liked Atsumu because he did not behave like a noble.

"But… who should I marry him to? He cannot be a simple commoner or a guard, he is a nobleman and will soon be a member of the royal family, nor can he be an aristocrat from another kingdom because it has not yet been announced that you and Osamu are engaged and that to me prevents influencing other kings" the queen stopped walking, approached a window that overlooked the front of the palace and observed the dim lights of the capital" Then I only have one option and they are the nobles of our kingdom but Atsumu has a terrible reputation in the nobility and no one who is sane would want to arrange a marriage that involves him because it would tarnish the reputation of even the best family.

Kiyoomi was furious, he tightly grasped the fabric of his pants to release all the anger that was accumulating in his body, his mother was cruelly despising the person he loved in front of him, and she didn’t hesitate to complain about Atsumu's annoying personality without knowing that the same annoying personality had completely captivated the young prince. The queen turned away from the window and returned to her seat next to her husband, she had an amused look as if she were not about to break the heart of her son.

"And certainly Atsumu is a big problem and I don't think there is anyone who wants to deal with his disgusting personality." She drank from his wine glass. "Luckily, Marquis Kita doesn't care about any of that as long as he can serve his kings!"

Sakusa's world stopped spinning and suddenly stopped.

"Soon Atsumu Miya will be officially engaged to him!" The queen announced jubilantly as the prince could hear his world falling apart. The queen clapped her hands and looked expectantly at the prince's response completely oblivious to the feelings of her dear son, all of Kiyoomi's senses stopped working, the news was a hard blow and she was still recovering.

"He accepted?" Was the only thing that came out of his lips.

"Who? Miya or Marquis Kita?" It was the king who spoke for the first time.

"Uh... both."

"Marquis Kita accepted with pleasure, it was a week ago that I proposed the idea to him, he asked me for time to think about his answer but two days ago he came to my office and told me that it would be an honor for him to commit himself to the person that his queen propose him" Kiyoomi's mother nodded enthusiastically" Atsumu Miya, on the other hand, is still not aware of all this, his parents will give him the news in a few days when he visits their house, he will resist and deny this whole matter but he has no option, I'm sure his parents will know how to convince him."

"When will they announce their engagement?" Asked a melancholy Kiyoomi.

"We are not sure yet, but it will be after announcing your engagement with Osamu in February" Kiyoomi's mother began to think" Maybe it will be in April and if everything goes as I have planned, the wedding will be in June at the beginning of the summer, Kita will retire to his homeland in Hyogo and take Atsumu with him, only coming to the capital when his duties as a member of parliament are of utmost urgency.

"So you had everything perfectly calculated..."

"Of course! Miya is a mess but I'm sure Kita will be able to handle it and by the prince's wedding in December next year" she raised a glass in Kiyoomi's direction" she will already be someone worthy of belonging to our family.

After a few seconds Kiyoomi finally spoke "If that's all I'll go to my room."

"Okay, dear, have a good night, and remember not to comment on this matter to Atsumu" the brown-haired woman replied calmly.

"Rest, Kiyoomi" said the king.

Kiyoomi kissed his mother on the cheek and hugged his father, when he got to his room it felt like a dream. He didn't think this whole situation was real, Miya Atsumu being forced to marry? It was like removing the wings of a beautiful bird, if the sky was removed from a bird accustomed to clouds, it would eventually die. And the prince refused to watch his loved one succumb to the monotony of the monarchy. Should he warn Atsumu? Could he convince his mother not to perform the marriage? How could he bribe Marquis Kita to change his mind? Could Daichi teach Atsumu manners so that his mother would stop despising him so much? A plan, Kiyoomi needed a plan and act before it's too late. He didn't mind having to disobey his mother for Atsumu's sake, they couldn't force him to marry someone he doesn't even know, it was foolish, unjust and it was absolutely not the jealousy and despair of Kiyoomi refusing to hand over Atsumu to someone else.

Although the elder Miya's servants have announced his poor health, Kiyoomi awaited him that night in his room —with comfortable clothes, two crystal glasses, chocolate truffles, and a bottle of the best quality wine— Atsumu was never missing any of their previously agreed meetings but that night was the exception, the prince waited and waited but the blond did not come. He was in vigil waiting for them to knock on his door until midnight but at some point he fell asleep, the candles that illuminated his room were lit all night.

It was not until the next morning that he worried and thought that Atsumu's health must be serious because when he entered the dining room about to complain to him for having left him waiting the night before, the absence of the blonde greeted him. The table was empty, there were no good morning greetings or friendly nicknames, no one but the prince in the dining room. The uncertainty was also legible on the faces of the guards and servants in the room, the usual presence that everyone was used to, was not in his seat and the breakfast that was prepared especially for him due to his delicate appetite was getting cold in table.

"I'll be back in a few minutes." He turned to go to Atsumu's room.

"Your Majesty? Where is he going? “Asked his secretary worried about the sudden change of the prince in his routine.

"I'm going to see Miya. Do you know if they've already sent a doctor to check on her health?" What do you think caused those headaches? "Kiyoomi seriously questioned. "I think he's not eating properly. Will he eat lunch properly? Will he drink enough water during the day?

"Miya? Miya Atsumu? Or Miya Osamu? " Iizuna asked again completely confused.

"Miya Atsumu of course, who else has breakfast with me every day?"

"Lord Atsumu is sick? I saw it in perfect condition this morning" he looked at the prince puzzled.

"What do you say? Did you see it this morning?"

"Yes, Your Majesty, he was preparing to go to town... I think he would go to have breakfast there." He spoke a little doubtful of his words when he saw the irritation on the monarch's face.

Kiyoomi stopped and returned to the dining room without saying a word, his secretary following him until he saw the prince sit down and start eating breakfast. The prince looked sad and it was only then that Iizuna had an idea; he quickly went to the third floor of the castle in search of a room where a young brunette was getting dressed.

The day began with an unpleasant feeling for the prince, his typical and animated companion was replaced by Osamu, it was the first time they had breakfast together and the atmosphere was uncomfortable. Neither of the two young people wanted to be in that situation, Kiyoomi knew perfectly well that Osamu was looking forward to returning to his room to have breakfast in the company of Suna but Iizuna had dragged him to the dining room to accompany the prince and although it was with good intention it only made things worse.

(…)

Kiyoomi's suspicions were confirmed two weeks before the big party honoring the queen's birthday: Atsumu was avoiding him. First he stopped coming to the dining room to have breakfast with Kiyoomi, he no longer visited the prince's room, he no longer sought the company of the black-haired man and spent most of the day outside the palace, at dinner time he always made an excuse and did not attend to the dining room but the queen did not care because she preferred to spend her evening without the presence of her son-in-law.

Kiyoomi on the other hand was going crazy, the matter of Atsumu's future marriage still hovered in his mind, making him not sleep at night and he couldn't even warn him because he rarely saw Atsumu and when he did they never spoke, the blonde greeted he from afar with a smile on his face and then hurriedly walked in another direction.

Deciding to face him on a Saturday night when Atsumu was returning to the palace after visiting the village, Kiyoomi did not recall doing anything to justify Atsumu's elusive attitude. And not knowing what motivated Atsumu to avoid him bothered him even more.

"What is the matter with you? " the prince intercepted Atsumu in one of the corridors of the castle, the lighting was dim, the silhouette of the black-haired man was barely distinguishable between yellow light from the candles that were in the sconces on the wall and the glare of the moon that filtered through the windows.

"Omi?!" He almost screamed when Kiyoomi got close enough to make out their faces, the monarch almost smiled when he heard the nickname again. "Good heavens, you almost scared me to death. What the hell were you doing hiding in the middle of the night?"

"Answer my question, Miya" Kiyoomi insisted.

"What's happening to me? What do you mean? Nothing's wrong with me, I'm perfectly fine" Atsumu Miya was a lousy liar, he avoided eye contact with the prince, his gaze fixed on anything but the prince's face and his words were full of hesitation.

"Then let me rephrase my question… Why the hell are you avoiding me?"

"Avoiding you? I'm not avoiding you, Omi-Omi" another lie.

"Don’t do it? So tell me ... why don't you talk to me anymore? Why don't you get to breakfast anymore? Why are you escaping from the castle more often lately?

"Aww Omi! Do you miss me?" Atsumu ignored the questions and preferred to mock the prince.

"No" it was Kiyoomi who lied this time. "But I want to know what the hell is going on with you lately."

"I already told you that nothing is wrong with me, Omi-kun" he shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about, I'm leaving the castle because there are so many interesting things in town and being locked up here all day is boring. Stop worrying about me."

"I'm not worried" Kiyoomi replied.

"I found out Osamu keeps you company at breakfast." Atsumu changed the subject. "I'm sorry for you, Omi. Who would want to see my brother's horrible face from so early?"

"You both have the same face" replied the prince.

"But I'm more handsome, Omi!" The blonde complained, pouting" Yes, you are in love with Osamu but at least you must admit the truth when you have it in front of your eyes. I'm the best.

"Excuse me, what?" Now the prince was confused.

"If that's all, I'll go to my room, it was a very tiring day and I want to go to sleep." Atsumu started walking but Kiyoomi wouldn't let that night go by without having answers.

"No" he replied annoyed and took Atsumu by the wrist to prevent him from leaving. "Tell me the truth? Why do you leave the castle so often? Don't you realize that it is dangerous? What will you do if someone kidnaps or hurts you?"

"Are you suggesting that I can't defend myself, Omi?" The blonde glared at him, trying to free himself from Kiyoomi's grip. "I'm not weak; I can take care of myself. Now let me go, I'm tired."

"Answer my question." He was sure he was holding Atsumu's wrist too tightly but he didn't care at the moment, he wanted answers.

"There are interesting things, Omi, I already told you." His eyes were full of anger and his voice was cracking. "Let go of me, please"

"Are those things worth risking your life? Don't you know how dangerous it is to go to town alone? You come from a family with a lot of money! That is very irresponsible of you; you don't even let some guard escort you to the town."

"Let me go, Omi" Atsumu was struggling, pushing the prince with his free hand to get away from him "You don't understand, nothing."

"What am I not understanding? Tell me” he demanded.

"Let me go… That hurts." Tears leaked into the brown eyes.

"No, not until you tell me why you've been acting so weird these days."

"What do you want to know for?!" Atsumu's face was beautifully lit, his hair looked more yellow than it actually was, there were tears running down his flushed cheeks and his brow was furrowed "What will you do, Omi?" Why don't you just let me do things my way?

"Your way is wrong, Miya." Kiyoomi loosened his grip a bit; the image of Atsumu crying in front of him was heartbreaking.

"What if it is? Who the fuck cares how I do things? I like to go to town, I don't want to be here, I don't want to be in the castle, I don't want to be a nobleman, I don't want to be escorted by a guard to every place I go" the prince looked at him puzzled" I don't want to hear my parents tell me what is the best for me, I don't want to have to like the aristocrats, I don't want to meet Kita-san, I don't want to marry him, I don't want him to come visit me at the palace, I don't want to know anything about him, I don't want to... less not yet" he said the last thing in a whisper.

"Get married?" Kiyoomi was late; his parents gave him the news before him.

"Yes, get married. Isn't it cool? In less than a year I'll be married, Omi-Omi."

"That's ridiculous! They can't force you to do that; you can refuse" said the prince. "If you don't want to, you don't have to, you can say no. If you want I will help you, Miya.

Atsumu did not respond, he put his gaze on the ground and was silent, Kiyoomi thought he was considering his proposal.

"We can come up with some kind of plan, we might even make Kita-san change his mind and reject you. I'll be able to convince your parents to change their mind, Osamu can also help, it's your brother…." He was interrupted by Atsumu's annoying words.

"No! I want to get married, I want to do it. I can do it. "He looked into the prince's eyes." I just need time. How bad can it be? Kita-san is rich, owns many lands and is young. I prefer Kita-san over an old man.” Atsumu said in a serious tone but the truth was that he was only trying to convince himself.

"You just told me you don't want any of this, much less marry, Miya. Don't contradict yourself. ”Kiyoomi replied, frowning at Atsumu's words.

"I said I don't want to get married _yet_ , I never said I didn't want to get married. That's why I was going out to town so much. I wanted to enjoy my last days of freedom before formally meeting Kita-san but I suppose I can´t run away from my destiny forever. "He removed the grip on his wrist with his free hand and gave Kiyoomi a sad smile." Thank you, Omi.

"Why do you thank me? They are forcing you to get married"

"No one is forcing me" he replied and rolled his eyes. "I accept, my parents did not force me. Of course they would be angry if I refused but they would never force me, this choice was mine" he gave the prince one last look and then began to walk towards his room" Osamu is not the only one who can make the right decisions ...

Kiyoomi watched him walk away without having anything else to say. Atsumu, the free and rebellious bird, agreed to clip his wings, he was full of fear but accepted his fate. He would no longer fly, perhaps even his beautiful sang could no longer be heard.

He couldn't do anything for Atsumu if he didn't want help... He saw the blond's silhouette disappear down the hall and then he was left alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the 1000+ hits!!!! and +100 kudos.   
> Would you like the next chapter to be from someone else's point of view?   
> Atsumu, Osamu, Suna, Kita? Or should I keep focusing on Kiyoomi?
> 
> Plz tell me what you think of this chapter in the comments:)   
> Take care and wear your mask!


	4. The diary.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since his 20th birthday, Atsumu has written his thoughts in a diary. 2 years of personal notes show the boy's daily life and how everything changes when his brother gets engaged to prince Kiyoomi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I want to thank my beta reader @rxinbowrena, without her this chapter might not make much sense.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

_ October 5, 1657.  _

_ For my 20th birthday, I would have liked a purebred black horse or the shiny jade bracelet I noticed in the jewelry store a week ago— even a new carriage would be fine.  _

_ What was my mother thinking when she gave me a diary? What am I, a teenage boy in love? Does she think I need to vent and put things like “Dear diary, today I kissed 4 guys blah blah blah”? I'm not 15 years old! I don't need to “organize my ideas” or “reflect on my actions for the day.”  _

_ This is ridiculously unfair and only confirms that my parents prefer ´Samu. That damn traitor—he can enjoy his new gold-encrusted shotgun and I'm left with a bunch of blank pages of paper. _

_ My mother can be discarding her hopes that I will write my thoughts in this stupid diary; she will not see me writing on this thing.  _

_ If it wasn't for my father making me write something in front of her I wouldn't even be doing this. A party is waiting for me at Omimi's house and I don't want to be late.  _

_ The worst thing is the expression on Samu's face—he knows he has received the best gift this time and I can be sure that he will not hesitate to rub it in my face when our parents leave the room.  _

_ I hate this day! This is the worst birthday ever— damn diary and damn all my parents' concerns about my behavior. _

_ I hope the servants will leave the fireplace burning in the living room tonight so I can go burn this stupid journal when I get back from my party. _

_ Atsumu Miya. _

_ November 16, 1657 _

_ The punishments suck. It wasn't even my fault that Duchess Sachiro's dress got cake stained because the plate slipped from my hands when I was arguing with Omimi,  _ ~~_ well maybe it was my fault _ ~~ _ but two weeks of punishment is an exaggeration!  _

_ If you ask me, I don't see the problem. It's just a dress! (Ugly plum coloured dress, yuck! Plums taste awful.) Wash it and the stain will disappear or just tell your servants to do it, end of trouble. But, no, that horrible lady wanted to make a big scandal for a simple stain; she will pay for embarrassing me in front of that bunch. I will take revenge on her, I swear. Just wait bitter, old woman— she will regret that. _

_ Why are almost all rich people like this? Who are they trying to impress? (Besides everyone.) Not any amount of money in the world will make up for her disgusting personality. I wish... _

_ GOD DAMN! What am I supposed to do? I was too busy complaining that I did not realise that I am writing my thoughts like a ridiculous girl in love. I refuse to give my mother the satisfaction of seeing me write in this diary.  _

_ I am a fool. This diary will never hear from me again. _

_ Miya Atsumu. _

_ December 23, 1657 _

_ If I have written here again, it is only because two weeks of punishment had turned into a month after I ran away from home to go to the ball organised by Omimi's wife but I have no regrets because the party was amazing. _

_ I'm desperate for some kind of fun. Can anyone blame me? I can't remember when was the last time I stayed home that much. So, yes, writing my misfortunes is the only thing I have left at this point.  _

_ I have already read all the interesting books in our library (Why doesn't Dad get more fantastic novels? There is nothing good about love and history.) and Osamu prefers to spend his afternoons in the music room playing a string instrument and refusing to keep me company (I must have left him lost in the forest when we were 6 years old, what's the use of having a twin if he's not your accomplice in any nonsense?) in my endless boredom.  _

_ I even tried to paint the landscape of the garden but, ultimately, being able to paint is a gift and it was not granted to me. What else can I do? _

_ … Yes, maybe there are many things to do but they are boring. Playing chess with dad? Discarded. Embroidering fabrics with my mother? Not in a million years. Learn to cook? Too much work and I prefer not to get dirty.  _

_ Mom can win this time; I don't give a shit as long as she gives me a nice New Year’s present. (I'm still waiting for my purebred horse!) _

_ Soon, it will be the New Year! I'm so excited!  _

_ Parties, alcohols, treats! When I can get out of my confinement, I will go looking for gifts for everyone—even my parasitic twin.  _

_ I just hope that the party that Mom organizes for New Year’s Eve will be fun (And not like last year's disaster with that boring music and simple food).  _

_ I'm sure if Aran and Gin came, it would be perfect but I doubt that she would invite them because of the “they are just commoners and it would not be appropriate” nonsense.  _

_ They are the funniest people I know and even she likes them! She should be smarter and stop inviting those nobles to our parties but she refuses to even consider my idea. She says that I will understand all this when I grow up, but hello? I'm already 20 years old, Mother, I've grown up. _

_ It's almost three in the afternoon and Samu just started playing the harp, meaning it's already my nap time.  _

_ Fingers crossed that my punishment ends soon. I'll try not to get in any more trouble. _

_ Tsumu. _

_ January 28, 1658 _

_ Trouble haunts me. Am I that handsome? Ahg, this is no time for jokes—focus.  _

_ This is a message for the Atsumu of the future: the next time you want to have a one night stand, please make sure that the person you sleep with is not engaged or married. It is your beautiful face that will suffer the consequences. _

_ That bastard—´Samu—couldn't stop laughing when he saw the bruises on my cheeks and legs; would he mind being a little more worried about his brother?  _

_ I will never underestimate the strength of a baker and I will not fall for a pair of pretty eyes again. If a baker has enough strength to leave me bruises that last two weeks, I don't want to imagine a butcher. _

~~_ Although, the sex with that brown boy was fucking good. _ ~~

_ Miya Atsumu. _

_ February 17, 1658 _

_ I never imagined that harvesting would be so exhausting! I wish the vegetables would just magically appear on the ground, ready to be harvested. _

_ My mother's face when I entered the room covered in dirt and sweat was a gem, though. I hadn't seen her so disgusted since she saw 'Samu and me eating dirt in the garden when we were 9 years old.  _

_ If it wasn't because she knew I was helping Gin's family with their harvest, she would have scolded me right now for my unkempt appearance. Instead, she immediately asked the servants to prepare a hot bath for me. A well-deserved reward for doing my good deed for the day. _

_ Although, if I'm honest, it's not that helping with the harvest personally was my first choice... no, I'm not that good, but Gin's mother did not want to accept the money I offered them to hire more workers to help them harvest because, according to her, that would be “too abusive of them”.  _

_ Madam, that was more than anything of a selfish act on my part! If other people were in charge of the Gin harvest then I could have continued to have fun anywhere. But things did not go as planned. _

_ So, I offered to help them—actually, I offered the help of both Osamu and I but my stubborn brother did not want to get involved in the matter even though Gin is also his friend—it was rather an impulsive act because I was not going to leave my friend alone when I could do something to lighten his burden, and yet, that bastard laughed at me when I told him I wanted to help him and betted that I wouldn't last an hour in the sun.  _

_ And with my pride at stake, I was forced not to give in to the heat, fatigue and hunger. I would not have preferred to pass out rather than agree with Gin. _

_ Dinner time is approaching and Mom said she would have the servants prepare various kinds of meat for me. I need to recharge my batteries, tomorrow will be another hard day in the field and that is what my next two weeks will be based on. _

_ Miya  _ ~~_ Tasumu _ ~~ _ Tsumu. _

_ March 23, 1658 _

_ ´Samu and Rintaro are both pains in the ass. I'll take a personal note never to ride with them again.  _

_ Why was it Rintaro in the first place? We were still on our grounds, there was no reason for a guard to accompany us. It's not like the trees are rising against us, Osamu is paranoid. No one wants to hurt him and he can survive two hours without being escorted by Suna. _

_ I have had enough with my brother's teasing and now the jokes of his silly guard is added to it, as if they had never tripped over a tree branch. Damn, they're both damn insensitive. _

_ Atsumu, the best twin. _

_ Atsumu Miya.  _

_ April 11, 1658 _

_ Sometimes I feel sorry for the nobles: their ridiculous stereotypes prevent them from enjoying sex with the most ardent villagers in the kingdom. Who cares about social position when someone knows exactly where to touch you so that you feel like you're in heaven?  _

_ Behind those worn clothes is a magnificent body sculpted by his(their?) heavy and hard work. Thank the gods for that. _

_ Fuck the social position, the baker who was friends with Gin made me see the stars last night. I didn't know that fucking in a public area could turn you on so much. New things are learned every day.  _

_ The bruises on my waist and the hickeys on my neck will take time to disappear and I'm sure that my mother will be upset about it but that's the least of my concerns. If I remembered the boy's name I would let him fuck me again. _

_ On the other hand, while I was enjoying my night with excellent company in a pub in the village, Osamu was invited to the birthday party of Lord Takuto's daughter. That family had the nerve to exclusively invite my brother and they did not want to know anything about me.  _

_ I should be upset and humiliated but none of this really surprises me. It is something that, with the passage of time, was going to happen. After all, the last 3 invitations to dances have been directed only to my brother.  _

_ The rich avoid me like the plague. I feel it, I will soon completely stop being invited to “high society” events. _

_ Keep excluding me. I don't miss your absurd labels and boring dances! _

~~_ Although being referred to as someone inferior to ‘Samu is not the best feeling in the world. _ ~~

_ ‘Tsumu. _

_ May 15, 1658 _

_ Omimi and Tsumugi are expecting a child! They invited their closest friends to their property for dinner and gave us the news, the whole dining room was overflowing with joy and applause.  _

_ In this life, I am only sure of a couple of things and one of them is that they deserve the happiness they have. They are one of the few gentle people that exist among the nobles and I feel so honored to be their friend. _

_ No matter what Omimi says, I will lead that child. I have Tsumugi on my side and that's enough. No one can fight her, not even her husband.  _

_ I will be the best godfather in the world; future generations must learn many of my amazing things. _

_ Miya Atsumu. _

__

_ June 25, 1658 _

_ How can ´Samu agree to all of this? Doesn't it bore him? Doesn't it tire him out? Doesn't he feel like he could be doing much better things alive? Doesn’t he want anything else? Is it really okay to sit at a table while looking pretty and faking multiple smiles? _

_ Sometimes, it worries me. I know that he and I do not have the same personalities and we aspire to different things but it really scares me that he wants that life of wealth and superficial friendships.  _

_ I don't want to think that we are so different and I definitely don't want to think that ´Samu it's just like all those aristocrats.  _

_ Where is the boy who used to make salads with the fallen leaves from the trees in our garden and used the mud to pretend to bake cakes?  _

_ Where is the ´Samu who played with Gin and Aran and why is he acting so different now? _

_ I don't want to see my brother become all that critical. I know he would be happy doing other things but he is too busy keeping up with our family image and pleasing our own to notice. _

_ I would like to say something but our communication is based on jokes and competitions  _ ~~_ that he always wins _ ~~ _. Even if I asked him something about it, he would answer with something like: “Mind your own business, Tsumu. And it would occupy that annoying tone in your voice.” _

_ Well, maybe I'm digressing and in the end, ´Samu doesn't end up turning out like those old men worried about money. _

_ Tsumu. _

_ July 3, 1658 _

_ IN A GOOD HOUR ´SAMU HAS A LOVER! Or so I think... the truth is that he did not confirm anything, but come on!  _

_ Those marks on his neck weren't caused by any mosquitoes. Do you think that I'm so stupid? I have left hundreds of those marks! _

_ The chicks leave the nest too soon. I want to cry.  _

_ I always believed that ´Samu would be a virgin until marriage and would not dare to touch another's body until they were united by the laws of Earth and Heaven.  _

_ Is it a girl? A boy? What are my brother's preferences in the first place? _

_ To be honest I don't know if it is actually a lover. It could also have been a one night stand. Whatever the case, I am proud that ´Samu is more than a stoic and serious figure in the middle of the room and I cannot be happier. _

_ Although, I would like him to tell me more about it, we could go out and have fun together or just talk about it. _

_ 'Samu is an idiot. _

_ The best twin. _

_ July 16, 1658 _

_ I need to find less reckless friends. Gin seriously doesn't mind getting into fights with dangerous guys over a girl he has just met.  _

_ Romantic? Rather silly.  _

_ Thank goodness Aran was with us to intervene. Since no one else would want to anger our strong and intimidating friend. That'ss a point for us! _

_ According to Gin, you only have one life but, my friend, I want to live it, not die in the middle of a meaningless fight. _

_ Aran's grandmother invited us to dinner tonight at her house; she said she would cook her traditional Ramen recipe. She is so good at cooking that. Even just thinking about it makes my mouth water... _

_ Mom will be worried about going out so late to an area of the town but I trust that my friends won't let anything happen to me.  _

_ I am not as paranoid as my brother; nobody follows me to every corner to want to kill me. (Please, ´Samu, become less dependent on Suna) _

_ Oh, by the way, Tsumugi was just two months pregnant recently—only seven left. _

_ Miya Atsumu. _

_ August 1, 1658 _

_ The end of time is near... _

_ Yesterday, Dad decided to take me to a jewelry store to buy me a beautiful gold ring—it had a large, beautiful jade in the middle. It was a work of art and it's design was exclusive. It's price was quite high but my father did not hesitate to buy it. _

_ From there on, I knew that there was something fishy. It's not a special date, or my birthday, and I haven't done anything particularly good, so Dad wants something.  _

_ What? I don't know, but I'll find out soon. _

_ When I mentioned my suspicions, he looked very offended, as if he really did not want anything in return but oh, dear dad, you really are a lousy actor.  _

_ I should give you some lessons on “how to lie to a person's face and not die trying” by Miya Atsumu. _

_ Sounds good. _

_ ‘Tsumu. _

_ August 21, 1658 _

_ He wants me to start going to his office with him so that I can start learning about the company and what we do. Like, importing rugs and fabrics to other kingdoms. I know I don't need to learn about that... okay, maybe I do need it but I don't want to. _

_ It sounds so boring—business is boring. Can't I just sit in the chair, pretend to be the boss, and leave my job to someone else? _

_ I don't want to inherit the company… I just want to receive a little money and forget about any responsibility. Why isn't ´Samu in charge of the family business? He is perfect for the position and he accompanies Dad every day. Can't they just pass the hard work on to him and leave me alone? _

_ What plans do they have for ´Samu? I want to grab my beautiful ring and throw it at Dad´s face but… it's very pretty and the jade shines when the sun hits it. _

_ I have no choice, tomorrow my suffering begins. When was the last time I wore a formal suit? _

_ Miya. _

_ October 5, 1658 _

_ 21 years, twenty-one years ago, the world had the pleasure of witnessing the birth of Miya Atsumu. _

_ Time goes by so fast… just one year ago, I received this ridiculous diary. The good thing is that this year, I did receive a good gift. Although, it was only because my parents were ”proud” of me accompanying my father to the company.  _

_ I know they love me but, sometimes, I feel like I have to work hard by fulfilling a good deed just so that they feel worth showing their love to me. ~~I~~ _ ~~_ magine earning tokens of affection from your parents… It's such a sad thing. _ ~~

_ I got two beautiful saddles because Mom couldn't decide which one I would like better: one is black leather and the other is white. The seats are comfortable and fit my steed perfectly. I already want it to be Saturday so that I can use them to go out riding. _

_ Dad suggested that we should celebrate our birthday separately—something that ´Samu and I have dreamed of since we were children. He will have dance the next weekend at the house and he has invited almost all the nobles of the city. (Everyone will come, what a novelty.) _

_ I had my party today. There was a lot of food and different types of drinks.  _

_ Gin and his family came, Aran brought his brothers and grandmother, Omimi and Tsumugi attended—she already has a beautiful 5-month-old belly—and some close relatives. It wasn't fancy, but I haven't had fun that way in a long time.  _

_ I don't see why ´Samu wants that absurd party, what more does he need than the people he loves? _

_ I'm exhausted. Dancing and joking with everyone was not an easy thing, but if I could I would do it again... _

_ Mom is watching me from my bedroom door and has a triumphant smile on her face. Yes, I am writing in the diary you gave me. Wipe that expression off your face. _

_ Miya Atsu- _

_ November 23, 1658 _

_ I was having lunch when I heard my mom scream from her private room, causing several of our guards to come help her. I will not lie, I was worried, our mother is not a person who would scream for anything, so I thought she was in danger. It could have been a thief or some dangerous animal but it was only a letter. _

_ When we got to where she was, she was not angry, sad or scared. She was happy, excited. It looked like she was about to cry from happiness.  _

_ I really didn't understand what was going on and neither did 'Samu, nor his servants. She reassured all the mansion staff and asked for a carriage to take her to Papa's office urgently but before leaving she hugged and kissed ´Samu on the cheek countless times. _

_ What happened? It's a mystery, maybe I will find out at night. _

_ Atsumu. _

_ December 4, 1658 _

_ 'Samu will marry the Prince. What the heck? How is that possible? _

_ How does my brother know the crown Prince? Salusa Rimori or something like that—I don't even remember his name well. _

_ I'm still in shock. 'Samu, the future ”queen"”? WHAT THE HELL.  _

_ What is happening to the world? Is it possible? _

_ I'm not being completely rational at the moment. I'll write about this tomorrow or when I stop getting dizzy at the thought of my brother's commitment. _

_ Tsumu  _ ~~_ Muya _ ~~ _ Miya. _

_ December 7, 1658 _

_ I have always known about my brother's good reputation in society, almost everyone who knows him loves him, and if they don't love him, they envy him. There is no middle ground.  _

_ Okay, but... is your reputation good enough to reach the Prince's ears? Is it known in the capital? _

_ I really am very far from the aristocracy and its novelties because I have never imagined that my brother was so desired. It was not until 3 days ago that I learned that he had received 5 marriage proposals from great families but had rejected all of them. Bastard. _

_ But now he's engaged.  _

_ What better suitor than the Prince of our country? Our parents would kill him if he rejected the proposal, well it's not like he’s got the chance.  _

_ They sent their affirmative answer to the royal palace without consulting Osamu, but he, as their favorite son, did not get angry or upset ( _ _~~As I would have, hell, they are forcing you to get married~~ ) _ _ and accepted without rejecting his fate. _

_ This is such a strange situation. I'm going to be part of the royal family and I'm dying to get the chance to tell Gin that he should show me more respect. Ha! _

_ On 20 December, we will go to dinner at the palace to meet the King and the Prince, my brother-in-law (God that sounds so strange). Mom is excited and has new suits made for everyone, she is even teaching me etiquette again, as if I could forget the classes I had since I was 9 years old so easily. _

_ I don't give a damn about visiting the castle; it's the first time I'll be at the capital! I hope I can sneak out and visit various places on the sly. _

_ Nothing more to report. _

_ Miya Atsumu, future member of the royal family. _

_ (That sounds great) _

_ January 12, 1659. _

_ LEAVING THE CITY WAS NOT PART OF THE DEAL! My parents will have to force me out of the house if they think I will leave all my friends for my idiot brother. _

_ He can manage on his own. It is not as if he really needs me next to him in the palace, I have important things to do here: Gin will have another harvest shortly, Aran's grandmother has a birthday in 2 weeks and Tsumugi is already 7 months old in pregnancy and will organize a party to celebrate the soon birth of the baby. I will not leave all that that easy.  _

_ Osamu has his priorities but that doesn't mean that I should drag myself into them. _

_ Mom will get upset and Dad can punish me for months, but I won't leave this place.  _

_ Oh, by the way, the Capital was great. The boys were handsome and the parties were funnier... but they don't compare to what I have here. _

~~_ Miya Atsumu. _ ~~

_ I'll go, damn it, I'll go.  _

_ Osamu's sobs in the middle of the night got the better of me. What had him crying so desperately in his room? How much is he carrying on himself? Why doesn't he tell me anything? Does he really want to get married? Was he crying because he was going to miss our parents or because he hates the situation he's in?  _

_ Shit, 'Samu, if you weren't my damn twin brother, I wouldn't be doing this for you. _

_ February 15, 1659 _

_ In 5 days, it will be a month in the castle. What a dream.  _

_ Every day I wake up and I think I am at home. I would like to deceive myself and say that I do not miss my home but... damn, being so far from home makes you miss even the most insignificant things. _

_ I never thought I would miss going to Dad's office or hearing mom's shoes rattling against the marble, the smell of freshly cooked food at Aran's house and the squawking ducks from the pond I frequently visit with Gin.  _

_ At least I still have Osamu and Suna, who accompanied us as a personal demand from Osamu.  _

_ I suppose he did not want to leave our town either because the journey on the way here and the first few days in the palace was quite annoying and he hardly followed orders from ´Samu, considering a week ago, they were on better terms. _

_ Kings are very different from what you imagine, they are not angry and strict but they are not friendly either. They are simply... serious.  _

_ At least with me, because the Queen really seems to love my brother's company and when King Hiro sometimes has little conversations with me, I can notice his discomfort. I'm not that distracted. _

_ And then there's Kiyoomi, the Prince. He is a person who gets irritated easily and to be someone who will be ruling a nation soon. He also loses his temper very easily and seems to have a great obsession with cleanliness. Weird. _

_ Although he is… well... very handsome. If I saw him in a pub, I would not hesitate to flirt with him. No one could go unnoticed with those strong arms and that broad back. God, damn. _

_ ´Samu is lucky so why doesn't he look more excited about all this?  _

_ He has 2 monarchs in the palm of his hand and a handsome Prince will be his future husband. Yet, his face has the same expression he does when he cannot eat the cake he wants because he is sick.  _

_ Lie to everyone, ´Samu, but you can't with me. We have the same face. I'll get to the bottom of this, sometime and when I have more evidence. _

_ My only theory is that maybe he misses his old lover, but it was quickly discarded. I don't think Osamu can do something like that.  _

_ Yes, he has a great sense of duty, but I doubt that he will put his heart over his responsibilities. No one can be that disheartened. _

_ I found out that there will be a duel at the guards' training ground this afternoon and I'll go take a look. After all, there is not much to do inside this cute golden cage. _

_ ´Tsumu. _

_ March 3, 1659. _

_ Oh, god, teasing Omi has become my favorite hobby. How is it that he has not sent me to hang?  _

_ That boy is the funniest thing there is. Why would he be so irritated?  _

_ I should go tell ´Samu to spend more time with him. A hot make-out session wouldn't hurt to lower his bad mood. _

_ Will that boy be the future king? If so, we will go to war shortly. The word “patience” is not available in his dictionary. Or, maybe, I'm being too reckless...  _

_ Nah.  _

_ He is 23 years old; it won't be the end of the world if he relaxes a bit. _

_ After ´Samu and Suna, he is the third person I can speak with without formalities. Well, maybe if the formalities are necessary but we will be family soon, so fuck the eccentricities. _

_ Omimi and Tsumugi's baby is a girl! I'm the proud Godfather of a little girl. _

_ Little Aoi, get ready because your life is just the beginning.  _

_ They will wait for me to visit the city to celebrate the birth of her. They said it would not be a real celebration if I was not there.  _

_ I didn't cry. Definitely didn't cry so much when I read her letter. _

_ Oh, I miss everyone so much! _

~~_ Atsmu. _ ~~ _ Atsumu. _

_ March 21, 1659. _

_ I am feeling more comfortable inside the palace and beginning to get used to the little privacy and the exaggerated attention of the servants.  _

_ Sometimes, you have to see the good side of things. A few days ago, I left the castle grounds for the first time and went to the stables to ask for a horse. _

_ After several minutes of riding, I found a small forest. There was a lot of vegetation and I was able to observe hundreds of birds.  _

_ It was like a crazy symphony sounding from the treetops and they also grew many flowers like yellow roses, white tulips and red gardenias.  _

_ Thanks to Gin and his multiple love affairs, I know that the meaning of red gardenias is secret love and when I saw them I couldn't help thinking about him, a useless but romantic fact. _

_ The wine they served for dinner sucks, I can't imagine why the queen likes it so much.  _

_ Bad taste, bad taste.  _

_ The one I drank at home was better, it was not that expensive but its flavor was fascinating. However, even when I recommended it, she barely paid any attention to me. Great.  _

_ Keep drinking your disgusting wine, your loss. _

_ Yesterday, I had a fight with ´Samu. He said that I should be more respectful but I don't know what he means.  _

_ I am respectful! I just like to talk, there is no harm in that. The problem is that I do not use cultured words like him. I am not him and I hope that the people around me begin to notice. _

_ Without ´Samu (and Suna in addition) as companion options, I only have Omi-Omi. He hates that nickname but it sounds cute to me, it is not my fault that he is a bitter person who does not appreciate it.  _

_ I will visit him later at his office to see what is new, maybe he will demand that I leave and start raising his voice to tell me how useless I am but I don't care. I prefer that than to spend the afternoon alone in my room . _

_ Oh, yesterday was his 24th birthday, there was a little castle party in his honor and I was surprised because I thought it would be a big celebration and people from all over the Kingdom would come but our majesty hates crowds and asked for a modest celebration because he didn't want to be around people. What a boring boy.  _

_ A big or small party, I will always find people interested in dancing with me, either out of curiosity or because they are too drunk to think correctly. There were people who danced with me, so I did not have a bad time last night. _

_ Although, my feet hurt because a girl did not have coordination on her feet and would step on me every two minutes. Shit. _

_ Miya Atsumu. _

_ April 8, 1659. _

_ Omi has a strange preference for cereal for breakfast. Do you eat any kind of protein? Grains are unhealthy for his diet, I wonder if the castle chefs know that. _

_ I would not live by without my fried eggs, bacon and apple slices. It is a little traditional breakfast in our kingdom but it is still delicious and more people should eat it. _

_ ´Samu is trying to find me a hobby. I guess he is fed up with my constant visits to his bedroom but, because of him, I am in that place and now, I am his personal butt pain.  _

_ The teacher tried to teach me music but I would never find that fun. Then, she tried to teach me to embroider but... my fingers ended up getting pinched and the threads tied into knots. _

_ Reading works—or has, so far. It won't be long until I get bored of reading all day. I've never been a passionate reader, lock me up for that. _

_ I hope my clever and creative brother finds something for me soon or I will continue to bother him ad nauseam. _

_ Oh, before I forget! Omi's eyes are dark brown. I’ve always thought that they were black but when they are being illuminated by the sunlight, they turn brown.  _

_ That's so cool, I wish my eyes would also change color in sunlight but they are still light brown. _

_ Atsumu. _

_ April 19, 1659. _

_ Omi-Omi is teaching me archery, he's a lousy teacher but still he works. I have almost mastered the technique but hitting the target is so complicated. Having to take into account the direction of the wind and the width of my back at the same time is very difficult. _

_ We spent most of the afternoon practicing and Omi kept complaining about the amount of sweat on his body, but it was a nice afternoon. Time passes very quickly when you are having fun. It was not until we saw the sunset on the horizon that we realized how late it was, we had to shower and get dressed for dinner.  _

_ With a single signal from Omi, the servants were already picking up everything and offering us some kind of drink. MaybeI was very dehydrated but Omi-Omi looked incredibly attractive with the sunset in the background and sweat on his forehead... 'Samu is so lucky, he looked like a painting of a Greek God. _

_ And speaking of paintings, Omi doesn't know how to paint either, he sucks at that. The lake painting he did a few days ago looked like a blue stain among a bunch of green watercolors. It was so funny, I had never laughed so much in my life.  _

_ The worst thing is that he is a sore loser, he kept insisting that his painting was better than mine but in no way what he painted is a lake. Neither the constant complaints nor the  _ _ cute _ _ pout on his lips was going to convince me. _

_ Atsumu Miya. _

_ April 30, 1659. _

_ I always thought that Omi never pays attention to me when I rant to him about my dreams, but when I was telling him the dream I had last night, he remembered that it looked like one I had 2 weeks ago. Not even I remembered that... but the fact that he remembered it was  _ ~~_ adorable _ ~~ _ interesting. _

~~_ I don't know why I'm writing this when I just got to my bedroom… I don't know why I feel so happy and why I had a great need to tell this. _ ~~

~~_ I don't know... and I don't want to know either. _ ~~

_ Atsumu. _

_ May 11, 1659. _

_ Maybe I already know, maybe I'm hallucinating.  _

_ If this is what I believe then it cannot be possible, I am confused. I am being irrational. I've just been locked up here for a long time and I'm spending a lot of time with him.  _

_ I'll go out to have fun in town, I don't mind not meeting anyone and traveling alone, I just want to get out of here, fuck with anyone and realize that I'm just confused and it is not what I think. _

_ This cannot happen, this is not happening and will not happen. I'm just confused, I'll find some fun and stop thinking about this. _

_ ´Tsumu. _

_ May 12, 1659. _

_ I knew it, ha, I knew it wasn't that.  _

_ Thanks Fubuki, Astuki or whatever your name is. You were the stroke of luck that brought me to reality. It's amazing what our mind can think of from the lack of sex, I almost panicked. _

_ ´Tsumu. _

_ May 18, 1659. _

_ Why? Why?! Why did I take Omi into that forest? Why did I tell him that there were blue carnations in that forest when I knew that's not true? Can't be passing this on to me, not to me. This is ridiculous, I thought it was already fixed. _

_ I shouldn't have lied to him, I should have just told him that I wanted to go with him to that forest even though I knew he wouldn't accept, I didn't have to lie.  _

_ He shouldn't have felt it was worth it, I shouldn't have found it cuddly as he searched most of the afternoon for those flowers and I should have told him the truth when we were leaving.  _

_ I didn't have to show him the red gardenias; I didn't have to think about him when I saw the red gardenias. Secret love? It's only been 5 months, that's not love. _

_ I'm wrong, I shouldn't have told him to pick them up, I didn't have to smile when I saw him so focused on cutting them, nor did I have to get excited when he gave them to me when we were heading back to the castle... my heart should not have accelerated when I kept the flowers and he did not ask for it back from me. _

_ I should not have, because those flowers were not for me. Our trip of going to the forest was not for me, his delicacy in cutting the flowers was not for me… it was meant for ´Samu, my brother, his fiancé, the person he will be marrying. _

_ Atsumu. Atsumu Miya. _

_ May 29, 1659. _

_ This is what I am afraid of. Two guys and several nights of partying didn’t erase Omi from my mind…  _

_ Omi. Of all people, it had to be him, like I hadn't made enough bad decisions in my life. _

_ ´Tsumu. _

_ June 17, 1659. _

_ I've never been particularly good at anything, I don't have a particular talent.  _

_ I can't paint because the low precision of my hands prevents me from getting the result I want, causing my drawings to be very simple. There is nothing impressive about them.  _

_ I don't know how to play any instrument because I have fled from any activity that forces me to stay in a room for more than an hour. I can't sing, either, because I'm tone-deaf and out of tune, not to mention that I can't control my breathing well. _

_ As much as I like to dance, I know I stink at that ‘cause I don't have much coordination with my legs and it's honestly a miracle that I don't end up stepping on someone in the middle of a dance. _

_ I am not good at anything in particular and I know that if I can do something well, there will be another person who would be able to do it much better than I can. It has never bothered me to know that, and I have never felt less important because of it.  _

_ I keep doing the things that I like and make me happy. I do not need the recognition of hundreds of people or the flattery of strangers, I am happy being simple but... _

_ But if a genie appeared in front of me and offered me a wish, I would wish to be incredibly good at writing; I would like to have the ability to write a beautiful poem easily and to know exactly what words to write, words that make sense and coherence. _

_ The right words to write on black curls moving with the wind and porcelain skin bathed in the light of a sunset on the castle balcony. I would like to know what to write... _

_ If I were a poet, no, if I was a good poet I would write about how two twin moles on my forehead are the most fascinating thing in the world and how my hands would burn from touching them, I would detail the way a pair of black eyes would fill with joy every time they know that the dessert for dinner is carrot cake. _

_ I would write about the laugh I heard while riding and how it became my favorite sound. I would write about it and more, much more. _

_ I would have written until there were no more words in the dictionary that was not used by me. _

~~_ Write about how I feel, about him, and that he chooses me, write that he loves me but he will not marry me... _ ~~

_ Atsumu. _

_ June 24, 1659. _

_ I just got back from my parents' house, I was able to visit them for 3 days and I really needed it. I missed all my friends, Mom and Dad.  _

_ I almost cried when I saw little Aoi, she is almost 5 months old and she is so little that I was afraid of hurting her. Omimi and Tsumugi are so happy of their daughter and is worshipping her. _

_ 3 days was not enough, but it was better than nothing. There was no time to hang around, visit Aran's family, greet the factory workers or invite them to lunch (Dad got upset about that), but I caught up with my parents and chatted with Gin. It was what I needed the most. _

_ At first he thought she was joking, he started laughing and telling me that she would not fall for that joke. It only took a few seconds of silence for him to realize that she was being serious. He listened to me, he was silent for almost half an hour as he listened to me talk about how Omi made me nervous when being around him and the feelings that I discovered recently. _

_ He listened to me ramble and chatter about the same topic without any interruption and when I finished, he advised me. _

_ Gin is a sincere and blunt person, he won't hesitate to say what he thinks and he thinks I'm screwed (I do too). He told me that fighting wouldn't do anyone any good and that I'm not starring in a romantic novel. He even added the fact that Omi, from the beginning, was interested in my brother. _

_ Osamu has been ahead of me by a lifetime, he is the one who has played the role of a perfect man well and that is why he captured Omi's attention. I can't compete with him. If Omi likes people like 'Samu, there's no way I can win. _

_ Gin was not being cruel or harsh, he was sincere. He has been my friend for more than 5 years and he knows what the world is like, in which he lives. He advised me that if I really liked Omi, I can be his friend, because being his friend is still better than just being his brother-in-law. _

_ Being his friend will make me love him more in a platonic way and will also make me stop loving him in the romantic way (although he did not tell me how long that would take). _

_ I don't have a lot of options, I see it every day and there's no way I can help it. I don't want to do either, but being his friend might not be so bad. _

_ If I cannot be the number 1 person in Omi's world, then maybe I can become the second, third, or even the fourth. Anything would be fine, as long as I am a person in Omi's world. _

_ ´Tsumu. _

_ July 2, 1659 _

_ Things are good, I think I can overcome this situation.  _

_ Being friends with Omi is interesting, although he keeps insisting that we are not friends. Pfft, bullshit.  _

_ Of course we are friends, he spends more time with me than with Osamu because my silly little brother has no emotional responsibility for his fiancé.  _

_ My new duty would be to tell him that he should spend more time with Omi but I don't want to, he is selfish of me and I know that. However, it won't hurt anyone who spends my afternoons with Omi-Omi. _

_ Sometimes I find myself so comfortable around him that I forget about my feelings and his social position, getting along with him just feels so natural. It's a shame that all these feelings are only temporary. I don't want to think that at some point, the walks in the afternoon, the visits to the town and the archery classes will end and it will be 'Samu who takes over Omi's time. _

_ It's wrong, but I hope ´Samu never loves Omi, that would end me… I won’t be able to bear loving the same man as my brother, to see him win and live in the life that I'm desiring.  _

_ As long as Omi-Omi's love is not reciprocated, I still have a little hope... although, I know that I shouldn't expect anything. _

_ ´Tsumu. _

_ July 17, 1659. _

_ It's almost midnight but I wanted to write.  _

_ I convinced Omi-Omi to go out to the gardens in the middle of the night. Without guards or surveillance, just the two of us and he accepted, of course after begging him for several minutes, but he accepted. _

_ I just wanted to walk next to him and feel the moisture of the night on my face. I never had another intention, I swear. I don't remember that he made me ask him to dance with me, I don't remember why I suggested that silly idea. And I can't even imagine why he told me he did. _

_ Omi-Omi, who hates physical contact so much and my absurd ideas, took my hand and began to dance with me in the middle of the garden under the light of the waning moon. It was ridiculous as the terrain was uneven and it was only enough for a misstep to happen for us to stumble and we fell to the ground. But it was perfect.  _

_ At some point, I started humming the song that Mom sang at night and I thought Omi would tell me to shut up but he didn't. So, I laid my head on his shoulder and allowed myself to enjoy the moment. Enjoy it because I knew that when the bubble that we were in were to burst, this would all end the way it began, quickly and without explanation. _

_ And so it did, almost half an hour later, with my throat dry and my hands cold, Omi went to his room after saying that he was sleepy.  _

_ I stayed longer in the garden and watched the silhouette of him get lost in the dark... _

_ What am I doing? Does he think it was ´Samu with whom he danced with? Was it Osamu or Atsumu? _

_ Omi-Omi confuses me. He confuses me so much. _

_ Miya Atsumu. _

_ July 30, 1659. _

_ It's Osamu, it's always about Osamu. Why do I still think that I can win? There is no competition here, ´Samu is the chosen one, he has always been the chosen one. _

_ Who would consider Miya Atsumu when Miya Osamu exists and is perfect? _

_ It is my brother who has nice dates with Omi, it is my brother who is flattered by the aristocrats and the castle servants, it is Osamu the future husband of Omi, it is him and it will never be me. _

_ Maybe if I had been more prudent and if I had been less noisy at the dances to which I was invited... if I had dressed more elegantly and if I had been more polite to the nobles of the town... if I had acted a little more like Osamu... Yes I would have followed his example maybe, just maybe I would have a chance, I could be the one to marry Omi. _

_ If I were like ´Samu, Omi he would love me. If I were like him Omi might have chosen me. _

_ Why? Why does it always have to be ´Samu? _

_ Is this hitting rock bottom? Did I really need to fall in love with a prince to realise all the bad decisions I've made in my life? _

_ I can't stand this anymore. _

_ ´Tsumu _

_ August 10, 1659. _

_ I'm better now, or so I think. _

_ I have realized that Omi, he will never be mine. They helped the nights crying until I fell asleep and the desserts that I ordered from the cooks.  _

_ I'm being optimistic. I love Osamu, I would give my life for that parasite, and I also want to be happy for him.  _

_ He found a man who loves him deeply as well as being incredibly rich and handsome.  _

_ 'Samu is lucky, but I can't compare myself to him, at least not in the way I've been doing it. I would never beat him but that doesn't mean I can't improve. _

_ It will take and it will not be easy but I will make it, I hope. And I hope that everything I am writing is not just another lie to convince myself. _

_ I'm fine, I'm fine. _

_ Miya Atsumu. _

_ August 24, 1659. _

_ I saw a cute white rabbit in the gardens yesterday. I tried to follow it but it was too fast.  _

_ Omi-omi told me that this is the time in the year that they appear very frequently. The previous kings sent them to hunt so that they would not become a plague but King Hiro is very fond of them and lets them enter the gardens, although he puts a lot of vigilance in the vegetable gardens to avoid that they destroy all the vegetables. With the arrival of winter, they leave and do not return until next year. It is curious. _

_ I've never had a pet but I think a rabbit would make a perfect pet. Although, I'm sure the queen would kick me out of the palace if she found out that I brought an animal into the castle. It's a shame. Now, I am looking forward to having a pet rabbit. _

_ I told Omi my wish but he said that he would never let me get close to him again if he found out that I had adopted a rabbit because “Who knows what diseases they bring with them” or “They can bring fleas with them” and “They are dirty, they come from the forest or Do you ever touch a council” God, that boy is so bitter… it's cute. _

_ Tsumu. _

_ September 15, 1659. _

_ My heart hurts, pretending to be okay all the time is exhausting. _

_ Being friends with Omi is not making me stop loving him, being friends with him is only giving me more reasons to love him. _

_ After snooping around in his room, I realised that he has a large collection of pocket watches, sizes vary, some are very old and some are quite new.  _

_ There was one that had a hand-painted orange fox on the back. I fell in love when I saw it and I want it. Only 3 days of begging was enough before the beautiful watch ended up in my hands. I have a new pocket watch and Omi now only has 24 pieces in his collection. _

_ It is now my most valuable possession. _

_ Atsu. _

_ September 29, 1659 _

_ Omi-Omi and ´Samu are dating more often… maybe Omi has finally won my brother's heart.  _

_ That's great. I'm happy for both of them… so happy that I could cry. I no longer have to intervene... I should no longer have hope. _

_ I must stop harassing Omi with my presence and let him enjoy ´Samu.  _

_ It pains me to admit it, I hate to admit it but they look so good together: two tall, elegant and well-dressed figures together enjoying a beautiful afternoon in the gardens… the future kings, made for each other. _

_ It's always Osamu… I don't have a chance. _

_ Miya. _

_ October 9, 1659. _

_ For my 22nd birthday, I would have liked a quiet celebration at my parents' house, a few guests, and some music. For my 22nd birthday I was expecting a simple gift, some jewelry, some new boots or some nice painting, simple things would have been nice. For my 22nd birthday I did not expect my parents' proposal, I did not expect to hear that someone of a great position was willing to marry me. _

_ An arranged marriage was something that I never thought of for myself, an arranged marriage was something that I would oppose without thinking twice. _

_ To tell the truth, I have never thought of getting married. I always wanted to live free and enjoy my youth... even when I wanted to get married, it was not what I would want because the person I'm in love with is in love with my brother.  _

_ Getting married was never an option. Marrying someone I don't know, a  _ **_stranger_ ** _ , disgusts me and makes me want to cry. _

_ But I said that I want to improve… I can't act perfectly like ´Samu but it's never too late to put my responsibilities before what I want. I'm sure Omi will be proud of me... I hope he's proud of me. _

_ Kita-san is not Omi but he sounds like a good choice… he is someone too good for me and maybe I can live a quiet life with him. _

_ Maybe I will even love him and forget Omi. _

_ Maybe, if I marry him, Omi will realize that I can be just as diligent as my brother. _

_ But… God… even knowing all that… even when I told my parents that I would… I don't want to, I don't want to marry him. _

_ I don't want to marry Kita. _

_ But Osamu is no better than me and I will prove that. _

_ Atsumu Miya. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to show Atsumu's point of view and what better way than a diary! 
> 
> Your comments and kudos make me happy, do not hesitate to tell me what you think of this chapter. I'm curious.   
> I hope it will not take long to write the next chapter, thanks for the support. Stay safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I appreciate your comments and your kudos! They make my heart happy. ❤
> 
> I don't know if this should end like this or if this little story should continue.  
> If some people are interested in the project, maybe I will continue it.
> 
> Happy holidays, take care and drink water!😊


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